I offer these thoughts in hopes that others may share these perceptions, that still others may use my thoughts to go deeper, and that still others will take issue with all I say here if they so choose. My thoughts will go from puppies to tulips and then to human beings, hopefully weaving a thread of meaning for all. I can only tell you with certainty that my journey into self-awareness continues, and I hope yours does as well. The following writing recounts some of my journey.
Our neighbor’s six month old puppy, Koda, is spending several days with us and providing much joy and sometimes less than delightful trouble. This morning I watched our dog, Reggie, and Koda play together in our living and dining area. They had already spent a good time running and playing outside, but apparently that was not enough for these two. Reggie had a big squeaky toy in his mouth and was aging Koda on to chase him and try to get it away from him. Reggie seemingly had no concept of allowing Koda to win occasionally, however, and the usually imperturbable Koda soon gave up the attempt.
Later, they were once again chasing with Koda now taking the lead, possessing yet another toy, and with Reggie in hot pursuit – flying up and down stairs and from room to room at top speed. Some undeniable shift in balance had taken place within the intervening minutes.
Now I weave another incident into this story. Before going out to dinner together last night, my partne, Ruth and I marveled at the beauty of gold, white and flaming red tulips in the common garden for our nine member condominium community. Ruth planted these with loving care a year ago and was now especially enjoying both their beautiful blooming and their tenacity in surviving the occasional cold weather and snow during late April and early May.
We arrived home from the restaurant to find every tulip trampled and broken. Our dogs were indoors, so they were not the culprits. Besides, they had always been careful to avoid these flowers. I asked a neighbor who was sunning herself on her patio whether she had noticed a disturbance, and she said: “Well, there was a kid here not too long ago!”
I felt anger well up in me at her apparent unconcern for the flowers and for her ease at suggesting the child might automatically be held responsible. I wondered why she had taken no effort to control the situation if she had noticed any disturbance. Perhaps it all happened in utter silence without her notice. This would have been surprising considering the devastation that greeted our return.
I realized quickly though that I had to get beyond this state of mind. Both Ruth and I knew full well that our neighbor was resentful of community spending for flowers and therefore cared nothing for the tulips at all. I also found it impossible to hold anger against a child. Breaking down tulips might be a joyous experience for any boy on a bike, and if I did think about a neighborhood kid riding through on a bicycle and crushing the tulips I would have to view the situation with compassion.
We live in the midst of poverty here and the children living around us have little concept of being cared for and loved judging from what I hear and feel from the surrounding environment. Crushing flowers would only reflect a local child’s sense of being so crushed by parents, older siblings and the environment in general.
“Beauty is ephemeral!” we both thought. But then I thought, “no, it’s not!” Beauty is eternal so long as there is consciousness of beauty, only particular manifestations are ephemeral – and this is true of all manifestations whether or not we call them beautiful. All manifestations shift and endure here only for an interval: no manifestation is eternal. Beauty is a quality we sense permeating all we call beauti-ful. The quality exists independently of all its perceived manifestations.
This brings me back to the two dogs playing. They are so particularly beautiful as they are now. No other two dogs could be as they were on this particular day. They will remain wonderful in my memory and in the consciousness of all those who love them for as long as any of us are here to maintain that particular awareness. Still, they will never be exactly like this again, not even tomorrow. Tomorrow they will be new beings in a sense, new manifestations of their inimitable selves. The same is true for you and for me.
Reggie and Koda will continue to mature and age. One day they will no longer want to play together. Such lively movements as they displayed today may no longer be possible for them in even a few short years. They will manifest themselves differently every day of their lives, in fact every moment of their lives, as long as they appear on this plane.
I know also that the likelihood of my continuing to manifest myself in anything like my present form becomes increasingly less likely as my years go by. This is not morbidity, it is simply a fact. From where I am now, my presence here in this form has a much higher possibility of ending before theirs than it would have had even a year or so ago.
We must appreciate each other here while we can, simply for the joy of sharing being in this form. No matter what we are otherwise, this form and our togetherness in this way is not present forever. Carry me in memory if I go from you first and I will carry you in turn and await you wherever we go from here, though I know not how or in what form that will be! Love surrounds us, embraces us – eventually subsumes us from this particular form of contrary nature once again into itself.
We view ourselves here as a continuum: we are not so, not in this form. In this form we are ever new. We are ever momentary projections of a way we choose to manifest within this plane of life. You are different from moment to moment as am I. Your moods and thus your entire self can change in a flash, and this is true for me as well.
The same is true for every being we encounter here. We find our real continuity only when we touch and become aware of ourselves as we are beyond this plane – ourselves who observe us here and participate from there through our experiences, learning and also teaching our physical selves as they commune with us on this plane.
We are not bound to what we are here. We are not bound to our attitudes, our reactions, our thoughts, our whims, our feelings or anything else at all. We do not have to be hateful, we do not have to be loving. We do, however, have to choose what we are – how we manifest – in any moment, and that choice we can always change again. Not knowing ourselves beyond projection, we often do manifest differently and in contradiction, sometimes from one moment to the next. Not knowing the center we are often unaware of the significance of our choices and this often brings sorrow in the end.
We must therefore seek constancy in our true selves as our ultimate awareness comes only from the true selves within us. These true selves see beyond temporary concern for our manifested world and our myriad feelings that so often collide within us as we play our parts here without a centered view of who we are beyond each momentary role.
I often played alone as a child. I would imagine myself a soldier fighting an overpowering enemy, facing down opposing forces on all sides. Quickly though I could change the game and become a detective, taking no more than an instant to alter the entire scene. Friends and I could also do this, though negotiation for roles usually took longer than an instant, becoming thereby perhaps an even more significant lesson for how we adjust roles in adult life.
All this is reminiscent of the book “The Games People Play,” but here I am considering purely our games as demonstrating our actual shifting projection of self in everyday interaction. We fool ourselves if we think the physical self who acts or feels one way is the same as the self that acts or feels another way. Our continuing selves are behind our momentary feelings and actions and an inner voice will always try to inform our physical selves as to whether or not our present feelings and actions remain attuned to our true selves.
Even for a lengthy portion of adult life I felt as though I were only playing a role here and that I could not find my real self. My occupation as a singer – a performer – helped to enhance that feeling. I have since sought my true self behind the projection I had manufactured for myself both to block myself from the pain of childhood and to provide myself with a sense of worth. Gradually I have found myself over time. I cannot say that it came in one moment of sudden revelation, nor can I say that the connection is yet complete. I can say though that my seeming failures have provided me with more insight than any supposed success. I am at least sufficiently in touch with my real self to know now that what I experience here as self and world is in no way the main show.
To quiet the mind, to meditate, to center oneself is to re-establish communion with our true self who remains in communion with the heart of being itself.
Love is the heart of all being, for love promotes all things and destroys nothing. Within love all things grow and develop and nothing can pass away without becoming yet another manifestation of being. We know this at our core when in touch with our true selves. We often forget it in the games we play. Let us not now forget once again to remember!
May 31, 2010
The BP Oil Spill Blame Game and a Call For United Action
Posted by Douglas Boyd-Robinson under Commentary, Environment | Tags: blame game, Bobby Jindal, BP oil spill, call for action, Gulf of Mexico oil disaster, President Obama, Tim Pawlenty, top kill |Leave a Comment
An impatient nation isn't getting answers fast enough in the Gulf of Mexico oil spill disaster. What exactly went wrong? Who messed up?
This newest and most massive Gulf of Mexico oil disaster provides a study into how we behave in crisis, showing that we still have a lot to learn about working together. Some of us who feel not so immediately involved try to turn away: change the channel. The daily resume of formerly crystal clear waters now murky with oil overwhelms us. Day after day we experience heart wrenching sadness as rescuers try to save scores of seabirds soaked in oil, reminding us of Exxon Valdez and other offshore spills. Our minds struggle to comprehend the choking effects of raw crude embedded in already dwindling Louisiana marshlands and we find it impossible to imagine how this seemingly fragile environment might ever recover.
People immediately affected cannot turn away. Their lives are directly affected in a way impossible to escape. States all around the Gulf rim now suffer financial loss as tourists stay away. Those in the fishing industry and related industries face not only immediate financial disaster but also the loss of generational occupation through no fault of their own. An entire region, already slammed by Hurricane Katrina, now seems doomed with the loss of abundant fresh seafood, so essential to a vibrant culture and cuisine.
Even though oil contamination may be hundreds of miles from still pristine beaches, many would be travelers are repulsed at the thought of swimming in a now polluted Gulf. And the menace moves ever closer to areas still untouched. Aerial sensors record a spreading dark mass of what may be sub-surface oil, while other accounts describe a glaring sheen on the surface where water still appears clear. Oil from the massive spill is now reported entering the “loop current,” and commentators speak of oil as spreading “everywhere.”
As in so many fictional accounts of alien infestation, the horror of it all insidiously spreads to consume us all. Another containment attempt, expected within the next seven days, holds limited promise of success, especially as “some” oil may continue to escape. The only real hope now depends on successful completion of relief wells that may finally ease pressure, diverting escaping oil and gas toward controlled capture. But this cannot occur before mid-August. Our minds now struggle to conceive of a once seemingly pristine Gulf filling with noxious crude with little hope of containment for three months to come.
Wiser heads among us know that our best chances to address this crisis will come when we put aside political differences, rivalries and fears to work together in every way we can. There will be plenty of time in months and years ahead to consider blame. There is sufficient responsibility to go around for now. Now is not the time to squabble over blame as acrimony only saps our energies, splintering groups that might otherwise work successfully together in response to unfolding developments.
Pursuing scapegoats only lessens our ability to work collectively in the face of crisis. Who in the oil industry or in government regulatory agencies could possibly say they were without at least some responsibility in developments leading to this disaster? Even the Obama administration, born in such tremendous hope for clean energy and renewed environmental protection, will remain tarnished by this “greatest American environmental disaster” well into a possible second term.
Watching rusty brown fingers weave across formerly clear water, none of us can avoid feeling touched by the cloying oil. Blaming government or industry may seem temporarily satisfying, but it provides no solution for now: the oil still flows and spreads. We can only effectively meet this environmental and economic disaster by uniting our energies to work together toward containment and solution. And we can remember that, in our finest hours, we have faced crisis together before.
We can at least show support for those directly involved. We can send money to aid those facing financial disaster. We can send money, whatever we can, to help with cleanup and containment efforts. Of course, BP has promised to pay all costs, but there will always be need for more immediate or additional funds. We can send money to support volunteers who would help to protect and clear marshes and beaches, while being lodged in motels usually crowded with tourists. All of us in this way could help to maintain an already struggling economy while providing a volunteer army to keep oil from our shores. We can also buy seafood as long as it remains on shelves. This will at least do a little to save a threatened industry.
Together, we can call on President Obama and Governor Jindal to ask for volunteers and for contributions from us all to cover their expenses. While BP remains responsible for costs, their payment may come too late for either people or pelicans. We can act most effectively if we take up responsibility now, together.
Visit Volunteermatch.org to match your abilities with volunteer opportunities.
(c) Copyright. Douglas Boyd-Robinson